Gender and Communications in Business

Neelam Dhawan of Microsoft India; Kiran Mazumdar of Biocon, Lalita Gupte of ICICI Bank, Naina Lal Kidwai of HSBC Bank, and the list continues. With women working head on with men, it is important to understand, respect, and bridge the communication differences between men and women.

Let us analyse what are the differences between the males and females, which lead to communication gap / grievances in the work place:
a. The most glaring disparity is in the listening styles of males and females.
As men and women talk, women rely heavily on non-verbal cues eg, nodding and smiling, to indicate that they understand (not necessarily agree with) their perspective. Where as men keep silent, and nod only when they agree with the speaker's perspective.
b. Women are likely to form deeper personal relationships and bondings that are longer lasting than men, who form business relationships just to do their purpose of doing business and nothing more. At times, because of this, they also tend to take business problems home and their managerial abilities suffer.
c. Generally men use language to preserve their status and independence.
Women generally use language to create connection and intimacy.
d. In case of conflict, women tend to rely on indirect forms of aggression rather than direct expression of disagreement. For eg. instead of confronting some body in case of conflict, she prefers to email him later.
e. Approach to solve problems also differs b/w males and females. When women deal with problems, they view it from a holistic angle, where as men tend to look for the surest and quickest way to find a solution.
f. It is found that women are generally transformational leaders, form long term relationships, mentor, inspire and foster innovation and teamwork. Men, in contrast were more transactional - appealing to subordinates' self-interest and using reward-punishment incentive.

With changed times, and both the genders pacing up the corporate hierarchy, it is imperative for all of us to bridge this communication gap between males and females.

I recommend following for the women managers, while working with male colleagues:
a. Market yourself well. Maintain your pace in the competition. Let others know your achievements, results and ideas before someone else takes credit for them!
b. Always speak up! Never allow men to misbehave with yourself. Stand up for yourself.
c. Take more confident decisions. Don't use unsure words like "Don't you think so" etc. which display you under confidence.
d. While presenting, don't indulge in story telling. Be logical and avoid giving unnecessary information.
e. Avoid discussing anything too personal. Instead talk about job-related issues and current affairs.
f. Be direct and straight forward in the criticism. Don't dilute the comments by being indirect.
g. Don't be too polite. No need to say sorry just to be polite. Apologise only if you are wrong.
h. No need to take male comments personally. Learn to separate business matters from your personal feelings.

Recommendations for Males, while working with Female colleagues.
a. Invest time in building a rapport.
b. Make a polite conversation with women, by using words such as "please” and "thank you" when making a request or giving an order.
c. Avoid dominating conversations. Listen her well.
d. Be aware that women tend to take thing more personally since relationships are importanct for women. What might be just a direct communication for you, might be too harsh for them.
e. Respect her abilities. Most women take their work responsibilities very seriously and expect you to take them seriously.
f. Don't call a woman names like "sweetheart", "honey", "dear" or "darling". Unless they know you very well they will probably think you are chauvinistic and condescending.
g. Work on creating a friendly and comfortable environment
h. Control any outbursts of anger or frustration. Women are uncomfortable when men yell and curse.
i. Pay attention when women are speaking. Use good eye contact, nod while listening.
j. Encourage women to speak more succinctly by asking questions or bringing them back to the point.